I take notes at every AA meeting I go to. Seems like every meeting I hear something exceptionally meaningful that I don’t ever want to forget. It’s an ongoing, never-ending “project” and it makes for some great reading. It was during one of these readings that I realized I had, over the course of many months, jotted down some experiences I hoped to share with my loved ones — my parents and brothers specifically — as part of my recovery from alcoholism.
Some of them have happened. The suggestions on this list either have recently been or currently are (or…
She is just a girl, at first glance.
But look closer.
Do you see?
I am everything she wanted to avoid.
I am all she never thought she’d be.
I am every trauma and every abuse
I am the inability to understand
I am every why she dares to ask and
every silence she gets in response.
I am the approval she’s longed for and never received
I am the safety she’s dreamed of and never felt
I am every time she’s cried out and been ignored
I am every broken promise, the only kind she’s ever known.
I have found myself under your rule,
A sad, angry king
ruling over a pile of shit as if it’s something,
as if that makes you anything.
Ruling sad, angry subjects who both
and hate you.
Yet, they remain devoted,
doing your bidding.
I came to this godforsaken place
full of stories,
from past subjects who fled.
Who escaped the first chance they got
and you hate them for it.
They told me not to come,
but I did.
They’ve told me to get out,
yet I am still here. …
Once there was a girl
who had been driven mad
by a staggering heartbreak and
an unrelenting addiction.
She fought for her survival
every waking moment and
hid battle scars behind
empty assurances and fake smiles.
She was ready to give up,
ready to die,
but fate had her try,
one last time.
Sometimes I can’t take my eyes off of you, and
sometimes it hurts to even try.
So beautiful such perfection How did Keats know that the shape of your beauty would move away the pall from my dark spirit Strike me blind I don’t mind for I…
Not because I chose to be.
In spite of exhaustive research, conclusive data, and irrefutable proof from the most respected minds and names in medicine and psychology that addiction is a primary, chronic, and progressive — and treatable — disease, there are still an alarming number of people supporting the notion that it’s merely a matter of choice. When it comes to addiction, they believe addicts choose to get them, they choose to stay in them, and if they so desire, at any time can choose when and how to end them.
I am an addict.
I made none of…
I write stuff. Every once in a while it’s not terrible. Addict sober 6.1.19. INFJ, HSP, empath, introvert, MDD/GAD, Sagittarius.